Thursday, June 16, 2005

memoirs of a serial killer victim


The entire monastery was roused by the screaming of Brother Ileo. I rushed to dress in the rags I call my clothes to see what might cause Ileo, the most timid and reserved of us all to let out such a bawl that would wake even the dead long gone. When I got to the commissary, where everyone was by now gathered, I saw why.

Brother Simone lay in a pool of blood, throat slashed, tongue sticking out. I struggle to keep in a scream as loud as Ileo’s in my throat. Who could do such a ghastly thing? And why?

After Simone was buried, Brother Francesco (the most senior of us) met us all. Even though nobody will admit it at the time, we all knew the killer was one of us. After all we are 18 monks (17, as I write this and shed another tear for dear Simone) isolated in the mountains with no visitors except for the regular monthly delivery of supplies by the local merchant.

Oh, the situation we are in! We are like trapped animals in a pit with a predator biding his time in devouring us all!

Everybody has said his prayers, but I doubt if anyone feels deep in his heart that we are in God’s good graces from this day forward…


The violent thunderstorm that has ravaged us since yesterday is the least of our concerns.

Brother Ileo was found in his room this morning. Throat wide agape. Oh, the blood! I never thought there could be so much in a body such as Ileo’s!

Francesco gathered us all again to discuss the horrendous situation we are in. It became a common consensus among all of us to vacate the monastery and make for the outside world. Of course everybody knew how pointless this would be since it is very evident that the killer was one of us. Secondly, the storm has all but destroyed the mountain path we use to descend into the nearest town.

We desperately tried to convince Francesco to forego the congregation’s daily routine of solitary prayers and meditation. We were all, except him and some of the elders, of the thinking that if we bunch together from hereon, then the killer will not have any opportunity to strike again. The argument was for naught, however, for Francesco decreed that it will be a greater sin for all of us if we were to abandon God’s most holy decree upon us. Our duty was far more greater than our singular lives. God will take care of us in the next life, says Francesco and the elders.

Damn him! Damn God! I do not wish to die! And I shall do whatever it takes!


I decided to take matters into my own hands. I refuse to be the prey to this evil predator. For three days I prowled the hallways of the monastery in the evenings when everyone was deep in the midst of their meditation and prayers. I believed that I would stumble upon the monster there. And I did, last night. Or so I thought.

The struggle was brutal and violent, but being a different man than I was before this evil began, I managed to wrestle Brother Romero to the ground. I pressed my knife to his throat, waiting for any sort of mad explanation from his lips, waiting for a reason for his actions…his EVIL. But there was none. There was pure inimitable fear in his eyes. I doubted at that very instant whether he was the killer. The knife eased slightly from his throat as my hand trembled. But something in me erupted, which I now attribute to the need to survive and my love for my life. Or perhaps its something else? My newfound rage caused my hand to plunge the knife deep into Romero’s throat.

Better him than me.

Oh God what have I done?

NO! At least, I have stopped the killing. God should be proud.


Damn my soul to hell! It isn’t over! After Romero, which I am responsible for, there was another victim, Josef. Who is doing this? I mean, the other thing…I mean, the murders…the first two murders…I mean…

I will go and hunt again.

The roads outside has not yet solidified under the sun simply because the sun, until now has not come up, and hasn’t done so since the storm passed. We are all still trapped here, and the others are starting to lose their sanity. Most have decided to pray together, while some have lost their faith. Some think this the ultimate sacrifice, an act of martyrdom, and thus just wait for their fate to slit their throats. I am beginning to hate everybody. But I hate the killer the most.

It must end tonight.


I killed Brother Alexis last Saturday, after I found him lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce on somebody. There was no hesitation on my part this time. While it was fear in the eyes of Romero, it was calm and serenity in Alexis’. I actually thought he welcomed my knife. So I plunged it deeply and violently until I almost cut off his head. It felt…satisfying. When it was over, it seemed we had the same smile on our faces.

It has now been six days and there were no more murders. I have put an end to all this madness and death!

It will now be just a matter of days before the paths clear and the soil solidifies for us to make our way out of this accursed place. But somehow, I don’t want to go. Somehow, I don’t want anyone to leave.

I only have a few days.

And 13 more to kill.

Brother Alexis and I have the same smile.


Blogger isha said...

this reeks of umberto eco, dude. :D

1:06 AM  
Anonymous jilly bean said...

so, did brother alexis kill both ileo and simone? or did brother romero kill one of them rin? Sorry ha. Can't help it...I need to know.

Man, it's twisted in a good way. It was a well spent afternoon. Definitely better than my boring job.

6:04 PM  

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